In our previous post (here), we talked about the theory behind how we should talk to our children when they make mistakes. It is uncommon that these situations can evoke our anger. It could be that they broke something, or disturbed their siblings or any other cases that displeases us as parents especially when we are busy with work or tired. Our first reaction would be to shout and scream at them. However, there will be those rare times when we are able to control our emotions and gather our energy to suppress our anger and we try our best to talk to them nicely but still end up shouting and screaming at them because they refuse to listen.
I, too, am guilty of that but recently, I realised that there’s something I can do to avoid raising my voice when I am angry at my son when he does something wrong, especially something that annoys me like disturbing his sister and making her cry. What I do is I will call my 9 year-old son to me, wrap my hand around him, and explain to him his mistakes. What that does is it breaks the action that he was engaging in by taking him away from the situation and prevents him from repeating it. If he tries to continue, I will request for him to sit beside me and ask him if he understands that his actions are not acceptable.
I believe it works for me because the situation that resulted in my anger has been diffused when I call him away from it and thus, I do not feel like there’s a need to raise my voice and wrapping my hand around him reminds me that he is just a boy.