Women don’t like their decisions to be questioned. When we question their choices, whether it’s to purchase or do something, they feel as though we are looking down on them and that we know better than them. Most of the time, that’s not our intention but the way we phrase and deliver our questions might come across as challenging their intellectual decision making. This is probably because they feel inferior therefore, they get into a defensive mode when their decisions are ‘challenged’ and try to prove their ability to think and make an intelligent decision. This can usually end up in an argument.
Firstly, men do not think that women are incapable of making intelligent decisions and we genuinely value women’s input. What women need to realise is that we too have our own perspectives on the situations.
Now that we’ve understood the reason behind their defensive attitude, what we can do is try to rephrase our questions so that it doesn’t sound like we are directly challenging their decisions.
Instead of giving opinions such as, “That table is too big.” or “Why do we need a big table?”, we can phrase our questions in such a way that we are asking them for their opinions such as, “Do you think that the room will look ok with a table of this size?” or “But will the room look small?” or “Will we have space for other things in the room?”
Phrases and words like “Do you think” or “Will” sound more like we are engaging them in an open discussion and asking them for their valued opinions rather than looking down and rejecting their decisions and thus, making them feel respected.